How to Keep Anger at Bay? Practice Means and Ways to Control Anger !! ACT on Life not Anger!!!

Abstract

Anger is like putting a lighted match to one's own home. Anger is setting fire to one's own home, which is filled with hay. First his own house burns and then the neighbor's house. What happens when a single match is thrown onto a haystack in a field?

Anger has two parts. One part comes as discord and the other as restlessness. Discord is apparent to others and restlessness remains within, unseen by others. It is the discord part of anger that one is able to overcome. However, as one part is suppressed, the other part increases. When one claims to have conquered his anger, his pride increases. In reality, anger cannot be completely conquered. Perhaps one can say that he has conquered the visible anger, discord.

right. Because we do not know how to reason and because, we have no foresight or intuition, we become angry. When we are insulted, we become angry. We become angry when we incur a loss. In protecting our pride or our greed, we experience anger. If one is to become free from pride and greed, he must have awareness (spiritual). Say for instance, your son-in-law broke your china tea set, would you not control your temper? If your servant were to do the same thing, should you not control your temper in this situation as well? Our reactions vary in different situations

Anger, attachment, pride and greed always harm the owner. People do not understand this.

Keywords

Anger, Attachment, Pride  Greed, Discord , Stress, Relationship, Self-esteem, Expectations, Behad

Learning Outcomes 

After undergoing this article you will be able to understand the following

1. What's exactly Anger?

2. Why Anger management is important?

3. What the causes of Anger?

4. What's the types of Anger?

5. What's the characteristics of anger?

6. How anger is expressed?

7. How to control Anger?

8. Best Strategies to control Anger 

9. Conclusions

10. FAQs

References

1. What's exactly Anger?

Anger is an emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong. Anger can be a good thing. It can give you a way to express negative feelings, for example, or motivate you to find solutions to problems.

Anger is one of the basic human emotions, as elemental as happiness, sadness, anxiety, or disgust. These emotions are tied to basic survival and were honed over the course of human history.

Anger is related to the “fight, flight, or freeze” response of the sympathetic nervous system; it prepares humans to fight. But fighting doesn't necessarily mean throwing punches. It might motivate communities to combat injustice by changing laws or enforcing new norms.

2. Why Anger management is important?

There are many benefits to managing your anger, such as improved relationships, mental health, physical health, increased productivity, and better self-esteem. While it is impossible to avoid never feeling angry, learning to deal with your anger issues healthily is crucial for a happy and successful life.

The top benefits of an anger management therapy program:

• Helping you gain a better understanding of your anger. ...
• Helping you manage stress more effectively. ...
• Teaching you how to communicate more effectively. ...
• Improving your coping skills. ...
• Teaching you how to deal with conflict more productively.

3. What the causes of Anger?

Some of the common causes of anger include, but are not limited to:

• Relationship problems
• Trouble at work (e.g., being overworked, looked down on etc.)
• Not feeling appreciated or feeling unjust from unfair treatment (e.g., having been bullied, ostracised, openly criticised, betrayed, wrongly accused etc.)
• Feelings of inferiority
• Low self-esteem
• Feeling the need to assert power (often associated with a desire for revenge)
• Neglect, abandonment, isolation and alienation
• Trauma
• Abuse (sexual, emotional, physical and mental)
• Unrealistic expectations and comparisons from parents

Strategies for controlling your anger: Keeping anger in check

Uncontrolled anger can be problematic for your personal relationships and for your health. Fortunately, there are tools you can learn to help you keep your anger in check.

4. What's the types of Anger?

There are 14 types of anger. They are 

assertive anger, 

behavioural anger, 

chronic anger, 

destructive anger, 

judgemental anger,

 overwhelmed anger, 

passive aggressive anger,

 retaliatory anger, 

self-abusive anger, 

silent anger, 

verbal anger, 

volatile anger, 

deliberate anger and 

addictive anger. 

Each of these types is quite self-explanatory

5. What's the characteristics of Anger?

The Characteristics of anger is that when we are angry our body goes through certain biological and physiological changes. Examples of biological changes your body might go through include: 

• Increased energy levels 
• Raised blood pressure 
• Spike in hormones like adrenaline and noradrenaline 
• Increase in body temperature  
• Increased muscle tension 

Anger doesn’t look the same in everyone and we all express it in different ways. Some outward characteristics you might notice when you are angry include. 

• Raised voices
• Clenched fists 
• Frowning or scowling 
• A clenched jaw 
• Physically trembling 
• Rapid heartbeats 
• Sweating excessively 
• Pacing excessively 

6. How anger is expressed?

Anger can also be expressed in either one of two ways: 

verbally or 

nonverbally.

Verbally: 

When a person expresses their anger verbally, you are likely to see them raise their voices. They might become insulting and say hurtful things if their anger is directed at another person. 

Nonverbally: 

You’ll notice some slight physical changes in a person who expresses their anger nonverbally. They might frown or scowl and clench their jaws and fist. They might also lash out at another person or object, sometimes causing physical damage to the person or object and in some cases even hurting themselves. 

7. How to control Anger?

Strategies to take control of your anger Wrath, fury, rage — whatever you call it, anger is a powerful emotion.

 

Unfortunately, it’s often an unhelpful one.

Anger is a natural human experience, and sometimes there are valid reasons to get mad like feeling hurt by something someone said or did or experiencing frustration over a situation at work or home. 

But uncontrolled anger can be problematic for your personal relationships and for your health.

Fortunately, there are tools you can learn to help you keep your anger in check.

Understanding anger

Anger can take different forms. Some people feel angry much of the time, or can’t stop dwelling on an event that made them mad. 

Others get angry less often, but when they do it comes out as explosive bouts of rage.

Whatever shape it takes, uncontrolled anger can negatively affect physical health and emotional wellbeing. Research shows that anger and hostility can increase people's chances of developing coronary heart disease, and lead to worse outcomes in people who already have heart disease.

 

Anger can also lead to stress-related problems including insomnia, digestive problems and headaches.

Anger can also contribute to violent and risky behaviors, including drug and alcohol use. And on top of all that, anger can significantly damage relationships with family, friends and colleagues.

Strategies to keep anger at bay

Anger can be caused by internal and external events.

You might feel mad at a person, an entity like the company you work for, or an event like a traffic jam or a political election. Wherever the feelings come from, you don’t have to let your anger get the better of you. Here are some techniques to help you stay calm.

Check yourself. 

It’s hard to make smart choices when you’re in the grips of a powerful negative emotion. Rather than trying to talk yourself down from a cliff, avoid climbing it in the first place. 

Try to identify warning signs that you’re starting to get annoyed. 

When you recognize the signs, step away from the situation or try relaxation techniques to prevent your irritation from escalating.

Don’t dwell. 

Some people have a tendency to keep rehashing the incident that made them mad. That’s an unproductive strategy, especially if you have already resolved the issue that angered you in the first place. 

Instead, try to let go of the past incident. One way to do that is to focus instead on things you appreciate about the person or the situation that made you angry.

Change the way you think. When you’re angry, it’s easy to feel like things are worse than they really are. Through a technique known as cognitive restructuring, you can replace unhelpful negative thoughts with more reasonable ones. Instead of thinking “Everything is ruined,” for example, tell yourself “This is frustrating, but it’s not the end of the world.”

Try these strategies to reframe your thinking:

Avoid words like "never" or "always" when talking about yourself or others. Statements like "This never works" or "You're always forgetting things" make you feel your anger is justified. Such statements also alienate people who might otherwise be willing to work with you on a solution.

Use logic. Even when it's justified, anger can quickly become irrational. Remind yourself that the world is not out to get you. Do this each time you start feeling angry, and you'll get a more balanced perspective.

Translate expectations into desires. Angry people tend to demand things, whether it's fairness, appreciation, agreement or willingness to do things their way. Try to change your demands into requests. And if things don’t go your way, try not to let your disappointment turn into anger.

Relax. Simple relaxation strategies, such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery, can help soothe angry feelings. If you practice one or more of these strategies often, it will be easier to apply them when angry feelings strike.

Focused breathing. Shallow breathing is angry breathing. Practice taking controlled, slow breaths that you picture coming up from your belly rather than your chest.

Use imagery. Visualize a relaxing experience from your memory or your imagination.

Progressive muscle relaxation. With this technique, you slowly tense then relax each muscle group one at a time. For example, you might start with your toes and slowly work your way up to your head and neck.

Improve your communication skills. People often jump to conclusions when they’re angry, and they can say the first (often unkind) thing that pops into their heads. Try to stop and listen before reacting. Then take time to think carefully about how you want to reply. 

8. Best Strategies to control Anger 

Strategy 1

If you need to step away to cool down before continuing the conversation, make a promise to come back later to finish the discussion.

Strategy 2

Get active. 

Regular physical exercise can help you decompress, burn off extra tension and reduce stress that can fuel angry outbursts.

Strategy 3

Recognize (and avoid) your triggers. 

Give some thought to the things that make you mad. 

If you know you always get angry driving downtown at rush hour, take the bus or try to adjust your schedule to make the trip at a less busy time. 

If you always argue with your spouse at night, avoid bringing up contentious topics when you’re both tired. 

If you’re constantly annoyed that your child hasn’t cleaned his room, shut the door so you don’t have to look at the mess.

You can’t completely eliminate angry feelings. 

But you can make changes to the way those events affect you, and the ways in which you respond. 

By making the effort to keep your anger in check, you and the people close to you will be happier for the long run.

Strategy 4

How a psychologist can help

If you continue to feel overwhelmed, consult with a psychologist or other licensed mental health professional who can help you learn how to control your anger. 

He or she can help you identify problem areas and then develop an action plan for changing them.

9. Conclusions

Anger is a natural human experience, and sometimes there are valid reasons to get mad like feeling hurt by something someone said or did or experiencing frustration over a situation at work or home. But uncontrolled anger can be problematic for your personal relationships and for your health.

Fortunately, there are tools you can learn to help you keep your anger in check.

10. FAQs

How can we improve our anger issues?

This happens because one does not have any control. In order to have some control one should first understand how he feels when someone gets angry with him. How does he tolerate such behavior when it is directed towards him? Treat others the way you would like to be treated. If someone uses abusive language towards you and it does not bother you or depress you, it is a different matter. You should stop it altogether. One must never use abusive language. Swearing is crude behavior, unbecoming of any human being

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