How to Know that You are in TRUE LOVE with SOMEONE? The Practical Approaches to Different Theories- Smart Thinking, Healthy Living!

Abstract

Love is a set of emotions and behaviors characterized by intimacy, passion, and commitment. It involves care, closeness, protectiveness, attraction, affection, and trust.

Love can vary in intensity and can change over time. It is associated with a range of positive emotions, including happiness, excitement, life satisfaction, and euphoria, but it can also result in negative emotions such as jealousy and stress. When it comes to love, some people would say it is one of the most important human emotions. Yet despite being one of the most studied behaviors, it is still the least understood. For example, researchers debate whether love is a biological or cultural phenomenon.

Introduction: What's Love all about?

Love is an emotion that keeps people bonded and committed to one another. From an evolutionary psychology perspective, love evolved to keep the parents of children together long enough for them to survive and reach sexual maturity.

The period of childhood is much longer for humans than other species. As offspring rely on adults for many years to survive and to develop the skills and abilities needed for successful living, love is especially important for humans. Without love, it’s difficult to see how the human species could have evolved.

Like, love, or ‘in love’?

Psychological research over the past 50 years has investigated the differences between liking someone, loving someone and being “in love”.

Liking is described as having positive thoughts and feelings towards someone and finding that person’s company rewarding. We often also experience warmth and closeness towards the people we like. In some instances we choose to be emotionally intimate with these people.Our brain behaves differently when we’re in love with someone compared to when we like someone. 

When we love someone we experience the same positive thoughts and experiences as when we like a person. But we also experience a deep sense of care and commitment towards that person.

Being “in love” includes all the above but also involves feelings of sexual arousal and attraction. However, research into people’s own views of love suggests that not all love is the same.

“What is love for you?” can differ for everyone, depending on the relationship in context. 

As per the Cambridge dictionary, love is defined as liking another adult very much and being romantically and sexually attracted to them or having strong feelings of liking a friend or person in your family.

While this is a more literal definition, love can be defined in many other ways.

How to describe the romantic meaning of love? 

Feelings of love can be defined as an amalgamation of various other emotions. Love is caring, compassion, patience, not being jealous, not having expectations, giving yourself and other people a chance, and not rushing. 

Why people confused about love and consider romantic love is only one love?

While love can be a wonderful and rewarding emotion, there’s often a lot of confusion surrounding love. It can be difficult to understand your feelings, wants, and needs, especially when it comes to relationships with others. But love doesn’t necessarily have to be confusing. By thinking clearly about your relationships and desires, you can get answers and clarity surrounding love.

Romantic love is a strong positive feeling for another person, usually but not always associated with sexual desire. If you’re feeling romantic love for another person, you may want to go on dates with them, have a conversation to get to know them better, and become physically intimate. Down the line, you may even want to date or marry them. Romantic love can take many different forms and might look different for different people, so feeling confused is a totally valid emotion.

What does love mean, then? You ask. Love has often been used as a noun, but love is a verb in practice. It is about what we do for others and how we make others feel loved and cared for.

History of Love

What is love? We all wish to have the answer to one of the most universal, mysterious, and all-permeating phenomena on this planet. And even if we perhaps have a special feeling and intuitive insight that love “is related to everything else, but near things are more related than distant things,” as Waldo Tobler said, we still have not found and offered a full or finite definition of this multifaceted, dynamic, creative and all-encompassing phenomenon that is love. Another view, held by Spinoza, is that love elevates us up to an expansive love of all nature. For him, an act of love is an ontological event that ruptures existing being and creates new being.

However, since love is an ontological event, creation of new being also coincides with different concepts throughout history, since each period brings a new way of being and living. Thus, each period in history offers a prevailing concept of love: in ancient, pre-Socratic times, we have Empedocles’ Love (Philotes) and Strife (Neikos); in Socratic times, Plato’s Eros and Aristotle’s Philia; in the middle ages, St. Paul’s Agape and St. Augustine’s Caritas; in the Renaissance, Rousseau’s notion of a modern romantic pair of Emile and Sophie; in modern times, Freud’s love as transference; and finally, in postmodern times we tackle the notion of duties to children. These concepts of love are not always independent of one another, as later philosophers often implement earlier conceptions into their own interpretations.

Types of Love: 

Really happens 

Since all types of love are catalyzed differently, each love affects us uniquely. Just like a bouquet of flowers where each bloom holds a different representation, types of love can have a similar effect. We created eight love characters to represent the types of love found in every relationship. 

1.Philia: Affectionate Love

Philia is love without romantic attraction and occurs between friends or family members. It occurs when both people share the same values and respect each other — it’s commonly referred to as “brotherly love.”

2. Pragma — Enduring Love

Pragma is a unique bonded love that matures over many years. It’s an everlasting love between a couple that chooses to put equal effort into their relationship. Commitment and dedication are required to reach “Pragma.” Instead of “falling in love,” you are “standing in love” with the partner you want by your side indefinitely.

3. Storge — Familiar Love

Storge is a naturally occurring love rooted in parents and children, as well as best friends. It’s an infinite love built upon acceptance and deep emotional connection. This love comes easily and immediately in parent and child relationships.

4. Eros — Romantic Love

Eros is a primal love that comes as a natural instinct for most people. It’s a passionate love displayed through physical affection. These romantic behaviors include, but are not limited to, kissing, hugging and holding hands. This love is a desire for another person’s physical body.

5. Ludus — Playful Love

types-of-love-5-ludus-720x449

Ludus is a child-like and flirtatious love commonly found in the beginning stages of a relationship (a.k.a. the honeymoon stage). This type of love consists of teasing, playful motives and laughter between two people. Although common in young couples, older couples who strive for this love find a more rewarding relationship.

6. Mania — Obsessive Love

types-of-love-6-mania-720x449

Mania is an obsessive love towards a partner. It leads to unwanted jealousy or possessiveness — known as codependency. Most cases of obsessive love are found in couples with an imbalance of love towards each other. An imbalance of Eros and Ludus is the main cause of Mania. With healthy levels of playful and romantic love, the harm of obsessive love can be avoided.

7. Philautia — Self Love

Philautia is a healthy form of love where you recognize your self-worth and don’t ignore your personal needs. Self-love begins with acknowledging your responsibility for your well-being. It’s challenging to exemplify the outbound types of love because you can’t offer what you don’t have.

8. Agape — Selfless Love

types-of-love-8-agape-720x449

Agape is the highest level of love to offer. It’s given without any expectations of receiving anything in return. Offering Agape is a decision to spread love in any circumstances — including destructive situations. Agape is not a physical act, it’s a feeling, but acts of self-love can elicit Agape since self-monitoring leads to results.

Symptoms Of True Love

Love - a feeling that has no perfect definition!

Do you think that someone can really define love?

If you are in love, can you tell what it actually is?

Will you be able to outline a string of words when cherish true love?

Every question has only one answer - NO.

But...

How do you know when you're in love?

The Answers lie in the following universal points 

Your thoughts return to them regularly. ...

You feel safe with them. ...

Life feels more exciting. ...

You want to spend a lot of time together. ...

You feel a little jealous of other people in their life. ...

You feel compassion for them.

Indicators of Love

You can usually recognize real love by these 12 signs.

1. You feel safe with them. 

2. They listen.

3. They acknowledge your differences instead of trying to change you.

4. You can communicate easily. 

5. They encourage you to do your own thing.

6. You trust each other. 

7. They make an effort.

8. You know you can collaborate or compromise.

9. They help you get your needs met

10. They respect you 

12. You see it every day, repeatedly

Tips for Creating a Life you Love

Find things that make you happy and bring more of that into your life.

Find small joyful moments around you.

Practice self-compassion. 

Have an open mind and try new things. 

Find your passions and immerse yourself in them.

Focus on yourself and your journey.

Is Your Relationship Healthy? The assessment of your love life

If you’re confused about a romantic, platonic, or familial relationship, you may be feeling confused about whether or not your relationship is healthy or what you can do to make it more successful. You may even be in an abusive relationship and are unsure whether or not your relationship is normal. Healthy relationships can have enormous benefits for your mental and physical health. While every relationship is different, there are a few common elements that indicate a healthy relationship, through which preliminary assessment can be carried out not quantitatively but can be a basis to boost your feelings 

Supportive

Any healthy relationship should be supportive and encouraging, even during hard times. Supportive loved ones will encourage you even when they don’t fully understand your hobbies or passions. A healthy relationship makes you feel valued and supported in all that you do.

Open

While every relationship is different, openness is an important factor in finding answers and determining whether or not your relationship is healthy. You don’t keep secrets, and you try to communicate your thoughts and feelings as openly as possible. In addition, you’re open about your relationship to the world and don’t feel the need to hide your friendship or romantic relationship.

Respectful

Healthy relationships are built on a foundation of respect and love. They’ll also give you the space you need and respect your desire for privacy and independence. Instead of trying to control you, they’ll give you the freedom to make your own decisions and support you along the way.

How do you know when you're in love? 

From the following signs you can presume that you're in love

• You can be yourself.
• You're willing to put in effort. 
• You're disinterested in other people. 
• You want to learn about their interests.
• You prioritize their needs.
• Your feelings get stronger. 
• You're grateful for them. 
• You're thinking of introducing them to your family.

What are positive ways to make life more meaningful and purposeful with Love?

The precious moments of our lives is love and be loved. So how it can be possible. Here are some simple tips and tricks about converting your life little more beautiful. Isn't it...?

Have a look! Give your positive thoughts and then PDCA

1. Breathe. Inhale fresh air from the great outdoors. 

2. Jump. Jump on a trampoline, a bed or a pile of laundry. Jumping is what kids do to have fun. Take the hint.

3. Smile. Practice in the mirror, if need be. 

4. Rest. Sit back and relax in a chair that reclines. 

5. Read. Preferably something that provokes you, lifts you, challenges you, entertains you, inspires you or encourages you. 

6. Cook. By yourself, with a friend, with your spouse, with your children, with your students. 

7. Walk. Go for long walks.This will be rejuvenating. With a friend, it will be motivating.

8. Work. Work hard at what you do. 

9. Play. Play harder than you work. 

10. Choose joy. It is part attitude, part emotion and part choice.

11. Have faith. It can move mountains. 

12. Treat yourself. Buy something. Then use it.

13. Love. Love quietly, Love anyway.

14. Express yourself. Through written word, verbal exchange or digital text. Tell someone who cares. 

15. Exercise. Set goals and achieve them. 

16. Photograph much. Use your camera to capture your life, moments.

17. Travel. Visit those places that you've always dreamed about.

18. Kiss often. Kiss a sweetheart, a friend, a father, a mother, a child. 

19. Pursue your wildest dreams. Chase them.

20. Pray. God listens. He hears. 

21. Step outside your comfort zone. 

22. Talk to a child. Kids can remind you what really matters. 

23. Learn something new every day. 

24. Re-connect with a long-lost friend. 

25. Mean what you say and say what you mean. 

26. Laugh. Often. Heartily. Loud. Enthusiastically. 

27. Forgive. Seventy hundred seventy seven times.

28. Develop a hobby. 

29. Let go of the past. Live in the day you are given. 

30. Embrace you imperfections. 

31. Appreciate things in life, even they are little things in life. 

32. Join a club. A committee, a group, class. 

33. Compliment others. 

34. Seek. 

35. Have birthday parties every year. Celebrate life. Each year you are alive is cause for fireworks. You made it! To another year! You're still here! How great is that!

36. Make new friends, new connections and new networks. 

37. Enjoy as many moments of your life as is humanly possible. 

39. Love Someone Bigger.

38. Give back to society systematically within rules.

Conclusions:

Love is the basis of life. And all about love is ‘giving’, not ‘demanding’, which knows no bounds. It calls for being in harmony with all, overriding all existential disparities. Should one realise this, life will turn into a beautiful experience. For, each being supporting every other, there will be no scope for grudge, hatred, or conflict.

References

Arendt, Hannah (1996). Love and St. Augustine. Chicago, IL: The University of Chicago Press.

Augustine (1955). Treatises on marriage and other subjects. Roy J. Deferrari (Ed.). Washington, DC: Catholic University of America Press.

Augustine (1960). The confessions of Saint Augustine (John K. Ryan, Trans.). New York, NY: Image Books.

Augustine (1994a). The city of God (Marcus Dods, trans.). Peabody, MA: Hendrickson Publishers.

Augustine (1994b). On Christian doctrine. In Philip Schaff (Ed.), A select library of the Nicene and post-Nicene fathers. Peabody, MA: Hendrickson Publishers.

Boylan, Michael (2011). Duties to children. In Michael Boylan (Ed.), The morality and global justice reader (385–405). Boulder, CO: Westview.

Cranston, Maurice (1991). Jean-Jacques: The early life and work of Jean-Jacques Rousseau, 1712–1754. Chicago, IL: The University of Chicago Press.

Feinberg, M (1980). The child’s right to an open future. In W. Aiken & H. LaFollette (Eds.), Whose child? Children’s rights, parental authority, and state power (124–153). New Jersey, NJ: Littlefield, Adams, & Co.

Freud, Sigmund (1913). Totem und tabu: Einige übereinstimmungen im seelenleben der wilden und der neurotiker [Totem and Taboo: Resemblances between the Psychic Lives of Savages and Neurotics]. Leipzig, Germany: Hugo Heller.

Freud, Sigmund (1968). Moses and monotheism. Hertfordshire, United Kingdom: The Garden City Press.

Freud, Sigmund (1989). Totem and taboo. New York, NY: W. W. Norton & Company, Inc.

Freud, Sigmund (1995). Opombe o transferni ljubezni [Comments on transference love]. Problemi, 33(1–2), 53–63.

Freud, Sigmund (1997). Sexuality and the psychology of love. Philip Rieff (Ed.). New York, NY: Touchstone Edition.

Freud, Sigmund (2000). Three essays on the theory of sexuality (James Strachey, trans.). New York, NY: Basic Books.

Grimsley, Ronald (1973). The philosophy of Rousseau. Oxford, United Kingdom: Oxford University Press.

Guthrie, W. K. C. (1956). Plato: Protagoras and Meno. London, United Kingdom: Sage.

Kirk, Geoffrey S., & Raven, John E. (1984). The presocratic philosophers. Cambridge, United Kingdom: Cambridge University Press.

Kingsley, Peter (1995). Ancient philosophy, mystery, and magic: Empedocles and

Pythagorean tradition. Oxford, United Kingdom: Oxford University Press.

Kant, Immanuel (2003). Utemeljitev metafizike nravnosti [The metaphysics of morals]. Ljubljana, Slovenia: Založba ZRC.

Lacan, Jacques (1994). Sections from his work on transference. Filozofija skozi

psihoanalizo [Philosophy through psychoanalysis]. Ljubljana, Slovenia: Analecta.

Liao, S. Matthew (2006a). The idea of a duty to love. Journal of Value Inquiry 40(1): 1–22.

Liao, S. Matthew (2006b). The right of children to be loved. Journal of Political Philosophy 14(4), 420–440.

Liao, S. Matthew (2012). Why children need to be loved. Critical Review of International Social and Political Philosophy 15(3), 347–358.

Martin, Alain, & Primavesi, Oliver (1998). L’Empédocle de Strasbourg (P. Strasb. gr. Inv. 1665–1666). Berlin, Germany: Walter de Gruyter.

Nussbaum, Martha (1986). The fragility of goodness: Luck and ethics in Greek tragedy and philosophy. Cambridge, United Kingdom: Cambridge University Press.

Nussbaum, Martha (2001). Upheavals of Thought: The intelligence of emotions. New York, NY: Cambridge University Press. Nygren, Anders (1953). Agape and Eros. London, United Kingdom: S.P.C.K.

Plato (1960). Symposium (S. Groden, trans.). Amherst, MA: University of Massachusetts Press.

Plato (1963). Eutyphro and Phaedrus. In Edith Hamilton & Huntington Cairns (Eds.), The collected dialogues. Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press.

Rousseau, Jean Jacques (1979). Emile: Or on education (Allan Bloom, trans.). London, United Kingdom: Basic Books.

Rousseau, Jean Jacques (1997). Julie, or the new Heloise: Letters of two lovers who live in a small town at the foot of the Alps (Philip Stewart, trans.). Lebanon, NH: University Press of New England.

Spinoza, Baruch (1992). The Ethics (Seymour Feldman, trans.). Indianapolis, IN: Hackett.

Starobinski, Jean (1988). Jean-Jacques Rousseau: Transparency and obstruction. Chicago, IL: University of Chicago Press.

Tobler, Waldo (1970). A computer movie simulating urban growth in the Detroit region. Economic Geography, 46(2), 234–240.

Verhaeghe, Paul (1999). Love in a time of loneliness. London, United Kingdom: Rebus.